Five reasons computers must be female...

• No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
• Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
• The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
• The message, "Bad command or filename," is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."
• As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.